I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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