at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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