What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
