how hairy? two words: wookie tits
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
