no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
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as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
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I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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