My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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