Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
