i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
