So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
