Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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