I just threw up on my dentist
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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