Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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