Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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