:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
