Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
