I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
