Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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