How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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