I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
