I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
