You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
