it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
