Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
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