he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
