Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
