I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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