I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
