there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
