you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize