And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
