never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
