can u get pink eye on your cock?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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