You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
