question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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