imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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