Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
