Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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