idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
