Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
