saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So vagazzling was a success
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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