Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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