Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
