My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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