I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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