You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
