He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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