i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I love you.
Bad choice
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
