nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
