so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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