I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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