Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
