had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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