i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
