also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
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just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
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How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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