I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
my shit smells like andre
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
