Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
