Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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