I think my vagina is haunted
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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