It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
