We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
