I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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