hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
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