It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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