what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
