There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
