I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I'm having to shit out rocks
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