I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
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What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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