how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize