So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
