what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
