its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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