As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
