I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I woke up under a house in Key West
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